This week started off so well, it's shocking to me that it could turn so ugly. I had two amazing days of hanging out with some great guy friends of mine, turned into an absolutely horrid night last night and fearful morning today. If the crappy gets any worse, I may lose it this week.
I feel pressure every day to keep myself responsible and sane. There's a lot going on in this brain of mine, and it's distracting when it comes to my responsibilities. I think I need to start meditating...or yoga. Or something. Music definitely keeps me sane. As stated before, I write about things I can't say out loud...or shouldn't. This relieves a lot of pressure and anxiety. Anxiety is a big problem of mine. I have also spoken about this before, but it really hit home last night. Through a series of unfortunate events, I had a major panic attack last night. I called two of my best friends, Jamie Goss and Daniel Erde, and they both called back immediately with loving words and open arms/ears. What a lucky girl I am to have such amazing friends! The night got worse before it got better, but I got home, put on some tunes, and sat back to let the beauty of music heal my damaged heart and soul. Have I mentioned I'm in love with music?
Pressure is a dangerous thing...it pushes down on your whole body and makes you feel this big. I usually work very well under pressure, but the last couple of days have taken a toll on me. Today is a day for music and love. CAGED system, new songs, my boys, and my bestie/roommate (when she gets home from work). Who needs more than that? I embrace these things when life gets in the way of my happiness. I know I deserve more than what I get, so I go out and get it. I dive into my loves and passions of life and let them take me away to a land of relaxation, acceptance and renewal. Pressure won't get to me, because I refuse to allow it to...get to me. (Aren't you not supposed to end a sentence with a preposition? Did that sentence count since I used the word? I'm confused...) Life is TOO effing short to let these things affect my positive outlook and general happiness in life. I love life. Life loves me. So let's do this!
So. Pressure. Anxiety. Unfortunate events. Negative energy. You can all go to hell...you go to hell and you DIE! That is all.
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