Billy Joel reference there. Anybody get it? ...I miss Chris.
Well, golly gee willakers! Look at all this stuff I get to do! On the 'bright side of things', I have my first interview (known in Starbucks land as "interview prep"), on May 7th...yup! A week from Sunday! Oh, and my very first gig...this. THURSDAY. Holy moly! I have to have my 5 songs (luckily, picked out finally!) ready and comfortable in two days... on top of preparing the enormous amount of work it takes for these interviews! This is all excellent news, of course, but the fact of the matter is I'm a little stressed...and excited. Of course.
Cue pressure, enter stage left. This little bugger has crept up in my bliggity blog once again! Ya bastard. I'm extremely excited about this gig, and think that, in some way, the pressure is what's going to get me through this one. This a hump for me. Ohhhh boy, is it a hump! More like a fricken' mountain. I have never performed onstage with an instrument, FIRST off. Secondly, I have never performed my original material on stage. So, count 'em, TWO of my biggest fears and procrastinations of life...which makes it so bittersweet. I'm scared as hell, but I'm ready. Ready to at least put something out there, if not for the slim pickin's of the early crowd, for myself. Five songs that mean the world to me, even if not yet perfect in my mind. This is me, put out on a platter. A somewhat rusty, slightly dented platter- but out there. Holy crap. I'm scared.
With work, I'm really struggling with some, and really kicking ASS with the rest. I must say. I know I can handle this store, it's just taking some adjustments. I'm really tired lately, yet not sleeping well. I am happy to have been cutting back a little on smoking, because when I don't smoke cigarettes, I feel so much more energetic! I feel great! I admit it. It's just so difficult to get past the cravings...the anxiety. I'm tryin' folks, I really am. So it's up and down with that one the last couple of weeks. A lot of stress at work coupled with some stress in my relationships = smoking. Now, with this interview around the corner, the pressure's on! I have a decent stack of paperwork to work on, a resume/cover letter to polish, a coffee tasting with three different coffees that blows them away and relates to me as a leader, etc etc et cehskgh...yeah. All while working my butt off every day and taking my one day off this week to cram for a gig and then go perform. Yikes.
A lot to handle, but a lot of AMAZING. These are all things I need to accomplish, and have strived to accomplish for some time now. Especially the music side of it. I mean, I've only been writing songs for... SEVENTEEN YEARS... yeah. One year short of an adult life of procrastination. Kind of a big deal. I smell mahogany. Rich mahogany.
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