Oh goodness...I greatly dislike my neighbors. Let. Me. Tell. You. Sometimes, it is so hard to be lyrical and creative over the sounds of barking dogs, screaming parents, crying children...and if I hear someone's car horn playing "La Cucaracha" one more time...I'm sorry. But it's annoying. Not to mention the little girl downstairs, who yells out the window up the extremely narrow corridor we're boxed into, talking to other people such as her mother, "You know what my favorite instrument is, Mommy? The flute. I hate guitar. I HATE guitar! Uggghhh hello!" Little girl...I have no words for you. But I will throw a rock at your head.
When I do actually get to sit down and write, it is a very up and down process. Sometimes I can write a song, top to bottom, in a matter of maybe 5-10 minutes. This is always VERY exciting and usually my best material. Those "in the moment" moments make for pure, honest material while I'm still feeling whatever emotion took me there. On a very cool note, I once watched (well, a few times watched) a four-hour special on Tom Petty called Runnin' Down a Dream. What an amazing, amazing man. Well, he started talking about how he writes a song...and he says sometimes the songs just come to him, as if he didn't write it, but was the vessel for it. I turned to Chris with a smile on my face, because this is how I feel, but thought I was crazy! Sometimes I finish a song in one sitting, no stopping, constant writing...and at the end, I'm like "Where did that come from?" I feel like I blacked out. Nothing weird, calm down. It's just an amazing feeling when you feel like music is your tool, but you are its, also. I'm pretty sure I broke some kind of grammatical rule there. Hmm.
Sometimes, I sit and stew on something for a while. (Oh my gosh, I just heard La Cucaracha again! Ahhhh!!!) ..... Anyways. I'm okay. SO. Sometimes, I have to dwell on something a little more, usually because I'm not sure how I feel about it yet. My songs are pretty honest. In fact, my lyrics are made of the stuff I don't tell ya. Sometimes, if you know me well enough, you can pick things up and know what I'm talking about. BUT. A-ha! I mix it up a bit, add in feelings on other subjects, and what have you. I don't want to be too specific and not have anyone relate, but I can't help but write what I feel. Otherwise, it means nothing to me. So sometimes, my songs take a while. I once took a verse and chorus from seven years ago, and finished it. That song made grown men cry. Asshole, grown men. Thank you.
I am a little nervous with my songs. It's a big part of my whole "fear of music" bullshit. They are very personal to me, so I guess I feel like if someone doesn't like it, they don't like me. Silly, I know. Then, I worry that someone will be too intuitive and figure me out. This is no good! In the wrong hands... well, there's a reason they would be wrong. See, I'm an emotional gal, but I deal with it through music. It soothes and calms me. Heals me. *Pause for smile* BUT. This means the lyrics you hear are my silliest and deepest feelings that I wrote in a song in order to not torment other people with them. So you see my point.
And then, sometimes... I take inspiration from an outside perspective, and write about how I would feel in their position. This is very fun for me, because it's like acting through my music. And I am NO actress. Although I played a concubine in The King and I. Don't hate. For example, I have a song called Dare You To Love Me. I watched a movie called "Imagine Me & You" and fell. in. love. I recommend it to any girl! Guys, it's a romantic comedy. Hit or miss with you fellas. But it inspired me to write that song. For one thing, they say "dare you to love me" in the damn movie! But also, I was able to put my own feelings into it, and write what I consider a pretty good song. If I ever get my show together, you should come hear it!
Writing is therapeutic for me. It's why I do this blog. It's why I write songs. Sometimes, I just can't say what I really feel because it's too scary for me. So I write it. As I've said before, I'm a wuss. Don't make me repeat myself again.
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