Sunday, July 10, 2011

Nobody Knows It But Me

It has been quite some time since I've posted... not sure why. I guess I needed some time to keep my thoughts to myself. I've been slowly but surely settling in to this new life of mine... and I'm happy to say that everything's pretty darn good right now! Work has slowed a bit, in the sense that the relieved pressure from pushing my promotion back has proved successful. I am finally feeling more comfortable and able to put into motion the plans I have for that store... and yes, I'm excited! I love work. I take pride in it, no matter the job. And heck, I love this job!

Staying away from this blog has almost made me forget how to blog... Ha! Me? Unable to ramble on about something? Unlikely. I guess the subject matter currently crowding a good portion of this girl's mind is just too personal... it's complicated. A great escape from the truth...

It's interesting to me how everyone keeps certain things inside... hidden from the rest of the population. Even being an extremely honest person, there are certain things I share with certain people; certain things I keep to myself; certain things no one will ever know... most likely. And we all have these things inside of us that we hold in and bury deep and wish away and blah blah blah... but how much can you really hold in? What's the limit to the capacity of crap floating around your head, heart and soul? How long do you hold on to this information before it finally explodes out of you? Or is it necessary to keep to yourself? How do you judge which is which? It's flippin' exHAUSTing! Too much thinking... can destroy you. Sometimes, you need to get the negative out and the positive finds its way inside. This is not to say the information shared is negative, just that the collection of such is dangerous... the mildew and mold of buried feelings has the potential to stink up a lot of your life. And I don't like to stink.

I've been sticking to my gut, and following my heart. I'm making decisions in my life that are improving the quality of it and refreshing my positive outlook. I'm finding the voice I thought I had lost... I hit a bump in the road, and for a while, felt stuck upon it like a frog on a lily pad... with a broken leg. Which makes it hard to hop. Or swim. In case you didn't get the comparison... I'm not very clever these days! But- I'm happy. I'm taking each day as a new opportunity to live it how I see fit. Things are slowly falling into place... one step at a time. Though I cannot disclose what is mainly on my mind, I hope to fall back into writing this blog again. I miss it. It's a great way to practice my knack for writing and my need for release. Now, if people would stop drinking so many damn skinny, 1 equal, no foam, half-caf lattes- maybe I wouldn't be so exhausted when I get home every night! Or maybe I just need one... or two.

No comments:

Post a Comment