Ohhh, what a silly little woman I am! Looking back on everything, I keep seeing the "signs". I feel like one of the characters from "He's Just Not That Into You". I had outside perspectives, similar situations, and the undying hope of something happening- all clouding my mind. Blinded by like...
Sometimes, we want something so bad, we ignore the signs. When you're grasping onto any kind of hope, you tend to only see and hear what you want. All directions pointed to "never gonna happen", but I would take the smallest inkling of possibility and run with it... never looking back at the mess I left behind. Kind of makes me want to kick myself in the ass... but again, it's just another lesson learned. No need to berate myself for following my heart, just need to remember to keep my head on straight in the process.
I keep flashing back to random memories, and end up laughing to myself about the evidence I refused to see... so much makes sense now. So. Much. It actually feels good to look back and recognize what I couldn't back then... I feel like I'm reliving the entire course of events, with a brand new perspective. Boy, was I way off track! Such is this crazy life we're living...
It's been such a rollercoaster ride of a year, up and down and side to side and... ugh, it's making me sick. Haven't I already said I don't like rollercoasters??? Sheesh! I'm planting my feet back on the ground and staying there, damn it! So much and yet so little has happened... but it's all pushing me in the direction that I need to be headed. I'm learning lessons and picking up new tricks along the way. My perspective is completely revamped and I'm reentering my world with hope, courage, love and self-worth. Most importantly, I'm no longer ignoring the signs. The universe has my back if I choose to listen, so I'm all ears. Literally. I had surgery to replace my limbs with extra ears- you can never be too prepared! Or... prepEARed...? Okay, that was a stretch. This is why I write at night.
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