It has been a rough couple of days, but I made a big decision that I feel is best right now. Halfway to my big interview yesterday, I called and cancelled. That's the short story version. The decision was made after a morning of disaster after disaster trying to get out to Burbank. I suddenly realized, I'm not ready for this. Everything happened so quickly that I barely had a chance to let it soak in... and with everything else going on in my life, I needed to step back and recognize what's good for me right now, and what isn't.
My body has desperately been trying to tell me to slow down... and I finally paid attention to the call. I'm physically, emotionally, and mentally drained... and before it gets too out of hand, I need to relax and let everything fall back into its rightful place. I'm feeling better and better each day, and this decision took a huge weight off of my shoulders, figuratively and literally! I was lugging a good 50 lbs of supplies around yesterday for that interview, and I am FEELING it! I need a massage...
Sometimes, life moves a little too quickly to keep up and still maintain sanity. So I'm throwing on the e-brake and letting my mind, body and soul catch up. I'm slowly but surely turning into the woman I have always wanted to be, but in order to do that, I have to make good decisions for myself. The temporary postponement of my promotion is one of them. How can I possibly move into a position I am in no way prepared or developed for? This is only a 1-2 month delay, but just what I need to come into my own as a developing assistant manager. I'm excited for the next few months to finally accomplish the goals I have for my store and my career.
On top of the added stress of this promotion, I actually pushed back music to do this... shame on me! I should NEVER turn my back on the one thing that never lets me down and is always there to renew my self-being. I was reminded of my love and passion for music when my roomie showed me a new style of strumming she discovered she could do... I remember those days- being so excited to share something I learned on guitar. I miss that! She inspired me to get back to my poor, unused and untouched guitar. Now to buy new strings, since my dog so kindly decided to jump on my guitar and break my E string... great, more money to spend that I don't have!
Life is throwing a lot at me, but I'm taking it one step at a time. I've been up. I've been down. I feel I'm somewhere in the middle, but on the higher end and continually moving up. It's all about taking care of the one person who will always be there for me... me. I'm feeling really good about the decisions I'm making and the changes I'm instilling in myself. It's all a learning process, and I've got my thinking cap on! It's tough being the teacher and the student- where's my overtime pay??
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