New Dawn, New Day, New Life... Part 3

Leave it to your best friend to keep you motivated, even if from about 230 miles away! The last two weeks have flown on by, but it's only because I've been so incredibly happy, I barely noticed. I've missed you, blogger- let's chat!

Many of my friends are getting married, getting pregnant, getting puked on by their little ones; but today, it's just me and my little man, Buster. My new place is everything and more... more than I imagined it could be. Sure, it's just a little studio in the heart of Koreatown... but it's so perfect for me, I could puke on myself! From my own space, to the building, to the landlord and all of the tenants within, it is a place I call home with a smile on my face. :) <---see?

I preach about the fact that we control what we receive in life, but it's more than that... it's being able to put yourself out there for good things to happen to you. Sometimes, you have to put pride, dignity, and all of that other rubbish on the shelf, and truly strive for what you want. When I came to view this apartment, I immediately fell in love. Nothing could stop me from getting my dream apartment, not even myself! Through reaching out to friends and family for help financially, manually labor...ly, and emotionally, I achieved my goal and am now sitting in said dream apartment, Buster by my side, helicopters filling the air, a breeze flowing through my windows (which, by the way, face a pretty nice view of LA! Did I mention my last apartment had two windows? That faced walls? WALLS?!) I am exactly where I need to be, and it took letting my guard down and asking for help. They say there's nothing wrong with asking for help, and I stand here as your proof. It is TOTALLY worth it!

Though I give due credit to those who helped me in one way or another, I take pride in the fact that this happened because I made it happen. I made the steps to acquire what I needed to achieve this goal... as for the last two weeks in new habitat? Ohhhh boy...

Through battles with a lack of funds, a lack of necessary moving help, a lack of time, stow away roaches, deflating air mattresses, and so on... I came out on the other side with newfound friendships with amazing neighbors, an aching desire to come home every night, discoveries of little gems in markets that smell like spoiled milk (a broom for a dolla'?? Holla'!), and the perfect setting for me to fall back in love with my true love... music. That's right, kids! I fixed what I thought was a broken string, and have been playing/singing every. flippin'. DAY! My voice has never sounded better, my confidence has never been so strong, and my heart has never been so full of a driving force pushing me towards what I truly want: to attempt something with my music. I need to really dive into it with practice and practice aaaaand... more practice first, but it's coming... oh, yes! It's coming...

I've met some boys and had some fun, I've snuggled my pup when the day is done. I've hung some clothes and dressed some walls, I've reminisced through unpacking it all. This life is mine and only for me, and it's finally what I want it to be... look out world, Shaneil's in the driver's seat, and her high beams are blinding any obstacle in her way! It's a new dawn, a new day, a new life for me... and damn it, I'm feelin' gooooooood.

Me, Myself and I

It's been a long 24 hours... yet, suddenly it's over, and I'm thinking- "What the hell just happened?" I feel different... but I feel relieved more than anything. I feel like I should be sad, but I can't seem to put my head down. Gah... I just thought thoughts that I cannot write down. Focus, Shaneil!

I think sometimes it takes a little heartbreak to reveal those who truly care. They remind you that you are truly blessed and refocus your attention to what's important. I have felt pretty darn good all day, minus the intermittent conversation with said person. It got better... but it's definitely going to be a "friendship-in-progress". I need time to be alone. What better timing than a week before I move out on my own, by myself? Hmm... touche, life.

This is certainly a new chapter for me. I have let things slide by and time slip away on the hope of something I knew would never happen. Ha, it's been a long time since I've been in the, um... "field", is it? I got carried away in the thought of something I thought would be good for me... I don't regret it, because I wrote some pretty kick-ass songs through it all. Songs you should all be hearing soon. That's right, people. As soon as I get into this new apartment... and get paid again haha... I'm restringing my poor, lonesome guitar and revisiting an old love. It's been too long... I'll never be unfaithful again.

Times, they are a-changin'... that's for damn sure! The shock I didn't expect numbed the initial pain of it all... I'm sure a good cry is in order, but for now I'm holding my head high and moving forward. I feel confident in the fact that one day, I will meet someone who recognizes what I stand for, appreciates the joy I find in life, and cherishes the love I share... Just little ol' me. In the meantime? I'm my own fuckin' best friend, and it's about time I acted like it.