As 2011 nears its end, I'm driven to reflect on this last year, as many of us do. It's almost surreal thinking of all that has happened this year... ending my 5-year relationship, numerous attempts at finding new love, living with and somehow losing one of my best friends, acquiring my very first apartment to myself, losing my dream job and starting a new path, hearing my ex is married... among the ups and downs of the year, the greatest gift I could ever receive was a brand, new, true love. The kind of love that happens quickly, but lasts a lifetime. The kind of love that embraces all of your wildest dreams, and creates new ones. The kind of love you couldn't understand unless you've been there.
I couldn't care for and appreciate this man more than I already do, yet somehow it grows stronger every day. Every part of me I only imagined someone would one day understand, he not only gets, he loves. I can be neurotic, controlling, emotional, ridiculously nerdy and dorky, independent, overattentive, worrisome, just... me. Me, myself and I. No one else. He embraces the good with the bad. Hell, he thinks it's sexy when I correct his spelling and grammar! Umm... jackpot maybe?
It hasn't even been a month, but I knew from the moment we met (officially) that this was something special. The best part of it all is knowing he feels exactly the same way. There are no anxious feelings, just comfort. I don't ache with anticipation when he's away; I know he'll always be back. He is hard-working, independent, loving, supportive, goofy, hilarious, and- well... he loves me. Which shows how intelligent he is. ;)
They say when you least expect it, it finds you. I spent a good majority of this year wondering when this so-called "it" would find me. There were many lonely nights, heartbreaks, bouts of desperation and close-calls to giving up... through it all, I remained true to myself, my heart and my soul. I never really gave up, though I did attempt to force feelings in some situations. When it comes along, though, there is no forcing to be had... it happens naturally. You can't stop it, you can't control it; you can only get in, sit down, shut up and hang on for dear life. Neither of us knows what the future holds, but we're taking it one day at a time. There will be fights, tough times, obstacles and barriers; but when it's real, all barriers can and will be broken. I have faith that, for now at least, my heart is in the right hands. Whatever happens from here on out, happens.
I am happier than I have been in a long time, if ever. My blessings could fill the depths of space. So as I ring in the new year, I look back with a smile on my face. No matter what has happened over the course of 2011, I know in my heart it was meant to be... leading me to my current state of bliss. I don't know what 2012 holds in store, but I'm ready and able to take in the good, the bad, and the ugly. If I've learned anything, it's to never lose faith, never lose hope, never look back with regret... always love, always embrace the moment, and always remember that there's always a brand new day tomorrow. Wishing everyone a happy holiday, a glorious new year, and the strength to continue on in life, no matter what it hands you. No funny ending here, just positive vibes to my loved ones and theirs... may you be showered with the love I receive every day from my sweetheart, and may you never lose faith in yourself. Happy Holidays! <3
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