I want things I can't have. I miss someone I can't tell. I have a roomie, but feel like I live alone. I'm happy, but down all the time. My life needs to make up it's MIND! Siiiiigh. Someone hold me. Or let me punch them. I feel like either way, I'd feel better. This is another one of those "not sure what to title or write about" yet posts. But again, you already know the title. Sooo.....if you could clue me in, that would be great. Yeaaah...
Things are going really great for me right now. In most aspects. We all have our thorns...but I feel a deep void I can't ignore and I haven't put my finger on it just yet. I feel like every time I write, be it this blog or a song, I get that much closer to figuring it out. So I guess time will tell. Hey, time! Speed it up buddy! Love, Shaneil.
Everyone has a void inside of them that, when filled, creates an overwhelming happiness and joy for life. And like one giant bakery, we all require different fillings and different flavors to make us feel complete. What is mine, you ask? Love. Love, love, love, love...craaaazy love. Well, not exactly. I'm not saying I need some man with roses and a promise of forever right now. Slow down, cowboy! I just need to be loved. Hell, we ALL need to be loved. But I think I need it on a deeper level. I've mentioned my constant need for interaction, but I miss having someone I'm close with. Someone I can talk to on a regular basis. A best friend. Don't get me wrong, Jamie is my best friend and I love her dearly. But I see her less now that we live together... not sure how that came about, but she has her own life to take care of. And very good reason for being off in her own world. Just so we're clear, this is NOTHING against her. (Love you Boo!)
Chris was my boyfriend and my best friend. I lost both of those in one day. I feel extremely lonely most of the time, and though I am blessed to have many dear friends in my life, most of them are only through a computer screen. Apparently I need to get out more. But this is difficult for me with no vehicle, a busy schedule, and a not-so full call log. And hey, I'm not bagging on anybody. Life gets in the way of fun, and you don't exactly see me making too many calls! But we're all busy. What the hell happened to the fun times? Oh yeah... we grew up. Booo.
I find solace in my music and writing. I tell music and tell through music what I don't tell anyone else. So really, music is my best friend. I'm okay with that, but music can't tangibly put its arms around me for a good ol' hug. Man, I love me some hugs. They heal the soul. Forget the punch in the face, I just need a hug.
Yup, I'm a hugger. On a lighter note, I have a friend who is not a hugger. By ANY means. So it's kind of fun to mess with her and hug her REAL good. Miss ya Jess! But I LOVE hugs. A good pair of comforting arms holding me tight to remind me I am loved. I hug everyone, but there are certain hugs you get that hold on for that extra second, and you feel your world at peace. I need one of those. Any takers?
Hugging is weird for some people, but next time you're around someone you really love, give 'em a real good hug. If not for you, for me. Because if it's me, I know I'd appreciate it, and you just never know who may be in need of one at that moment.
PS. Time, let's not fight. I respect you, just wish you'd get things moving along already. I love you, but I don't like you all the time. I'm sure it's mutual. Do you- do you want a hug?
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