Ahh... a little more pressure to brighten up my day! How delightful. Actually, it is quite delightful. I've heard some good news on my upcoming promotion, and already received a little "boost" to my pay... and I have my first "rehearsal/writing/practice" session thing on Friday with my pal, Nick Reiter. Mentioned before, this guy is quite the talented guitarist, and has so graciously agreed to play on my demo. So- myself, my acoustic guitar rhythms, and Nick's amazing leads will be what you hear. I'm really excited to get something recorded, and this is the first practice, so I'm anxious and nerrrrrrrrrrvous. Of course. Why wouldn't I be? For one, I'm always nervous performing, especially in front of one person. And especially in front of someone so passionate and knowledgeable on the subject. Yup. Steamroller of pressure. But I'm diving in head-first, reminding myself that if I push through, I'll eventually relax, get comfortable, and just do my thing. Hopefully. Shit.
I'm trying to get my priorities straight. Trying to focus (discussed). Under pressure (discussed). Cleaning house (discussed). Siiiigh. It's hard to think of new topics when everything surrounding me is the same shit. I need a change of pace. This demo is certainly one; something I've been talking about for 8 or 9 months, and fiiinally I'm doing it. Well, preparing to, which is the first step in the right direction. I'm working hard at my job, and moving along quickly. The house is in good order, a routine is set (for the most part- I do work in customer service with different hours all the time). My life is coming into focus. I've messed with that damn lens for a long time! But I see a light at the end of the tunnel, and I'm racing towards it with all of my might. Well, most of it- I still have distractions and apprehensions and blah blah blah... but I'm making moves in the direction of good for my life, and that feels good. My heart... is healing. It takes time, but it's staying positive and hopeful for the future.
The clouds have gathered, the rain has poured. I've built myself an umbrella of hope, love and perseverance, and I'm walking through life day by day, step by step. Repeat, repeat, repeat. I greatly dislike repeating in my writing. But I do it. A lot. And then complain about it....... so I was saying?
It's interesting- I have these weird... "things" I do... to remind myself of how good I have it and keep my perspective straight. For instance, if you are a fellow Hulu subscriber, you are familiar with the option to say 'yes' or 'no' to ads you prefer and do not. I usually watch a good portion of the ad, and then decide whether I would want to watch it again or not. (Now, I started off just saying 'no' to everything in the hopes the ads would disappear. As luck would naturally have it, they do not disappear. Ever. So I'm rollin' with the punches...) Whenever an ad comes on regarding charity work or organizations to help the needy, I say 'yes'. They get to me. They make me feel. They make me ache. They remind me of how people really have it. I'm inspired to be better, I'm inspired to help, and I'm inspired to continue on with a positive outlook on life. And so I persist...
So what the hell is my point? When focused on what really matters, your eyes direct the movie you script yourself, and your happy ending comes to you. Life's not always perfect, but the ride- the journey- the adventure of life is the happy ending. Always striving towards what makes you truly happy. What makes your life better. What makes you a better person. Follow your heart, stay level-headed and true to yourself, and love. Love, love, love. And damn it, learn an instrument!
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